Abusive Bosses Signal Your Need for Exit Strategy

A Washington Post advice column recently dealt with the matter of handling abusive bosses, and knowing when to leave. As the columnist noted, there are numerous websites that offer advice on dealing with abusive bosses, and provide insight on handling these difficult people. Anyone who has been in the workforce for some time will have a story or two about suffering through denigration and humiliation at the hands of a superior who crossed the line on a regular basis.

The larger question is whether an employee should leave or pursue in-house remedies, such as filing complaints with their companies' human resources departments. While this might seem like a logical step, especially if a company provides a formal protocol for doing so, many backdoor policies give license to supervisors crossing the line. It's possible that management knows about a given supervisor's behavior. Either they are at a loss to correct the situation or unwilling. If you plan to contact human resources, do so with the knowledge that your action could boomerang, and end up hurting you. You would be wise to consider any assurances of "confidentiality" open to interpretation.

Outside having an abusive boss, you may love your job, and your organization. They pay might be great and benefits generous. But if you are facing routine mistreatment at the hands of an unbalanced superior, we urge you to consider the toll this is taking on your life. While being in a dysfunctional workplace may not lead you go to home and kick the cat or drive you to drink, bearing this burden will sap your energies and dull your outlook on life. Simply put, you'll never be at your professional best with an abusive boss because so much your focus, in this situation, is on fending off the troubles heaped on you by a disturbed person. While you may harbor dreams of prevailing, of somehow winning over this angry, depressed, or narcissistic personality, your most realistic best-case scenario is to find a new job, with, needless to day, a new boss.

Never, ever, under any circumstances think that dealing with abuse is your lot in life. Especially not when it comes to the workplace, where you have a choice in the matter. Though we have all grown up with the cautionary adage about the grass not always being greener on the other side, sometimes it is. You may have a mountain to cross – by improving your resume, lining up your references, posting your resume on appropriate boards, contacting recruiters, searching classifieds, and, of course, shaking out your network – to get to that other meadow, but the process and the end result will be worth it. And until you get an offer for a new job, you can at least be heartened by knowing that you are taking the requisite steps to move beyond a situation you don't deserve.

back to December blog