September 16, 2008

When It's Time to Say "Thanks, But No Thanks" to Mom & Dad

We couldn't quite believe our eyes when we read the following news report: the college recruiter for a large Midwestern employer has found that 7 out of 10 of the grads she offers jobs to these days tell her they have to talk to their parents before making a decision.

But the article was from a reputable source (see "Helicopter Parents Now Hover at the Office," The Wall Street Journal College Journal) – and when we asked other people what they thought of the story, a surprising number of them told us they'd had similar hiring experiences themselves.

In fact, College Journal says that parental involvement in young adults' career choices is becoming so common that some companies have decided it's best to just go with the flow. A Virginia company said it routinely offers to send a copy of its offer letter to the parents of prospective employees. More than half of the prospects say yes.

(We have to wonder what's coming next at that company – if a new hire doesn't rise to expectations, will the supervisor call Mom and Dad to complain?)

It's a wonderful thing to have parents who are supportive and who are willing and able to give good advice about life choices. But there's a point in life where we all have to grow up and take responsibility for our own decisions. That step ought to have come well before you're considering career job offers.

Honestly, if you haven't reached this point in your life by the time you're interviewing for jobs, do your best to fake it:

• Don't bring Mom or Dad with you to your job interview.
• Don't use your parents as character references.
• Don't have Mom or Dad call hiring managers on your behalf.
• Don't tell an employer that you need to ask your parents what they think of a job offer. Just tell them you're thrilled by the offer but want a day to think it over.
• Don't let the words "My Dad/Mom always says..." slip out of your mouth in work situations unless your parent is a genuine, independently verified expert on the subject at hand.

Speaking as an employer, we would see any of the above-listed acts as a red flag, and would drop any idea of hiring someone who committed them. (Hey, if we're that impressed with your parent, we'll hire them, not you.)

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